Building a New Life after Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

It is not uncommon for those who just experienced the emotional and mental stress of a divorce to feel a little distrustful and jaded. After all, that union that was supposed to last a lifetime ended, for whatever reason, prematurely and now you are left to rebuild what is left of your life. Well, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that there is life after a divorce.

The Recovery Process

Much like a person dealing with the death of a loved one, there is a process for those emerging from a divorce. Consider applying these tips to your post-divorce life to help you move on to a new phase in your life.

• Allow yourself to mourn. It is okay to feel grief following a divorce or even remorse, but don’t dwell on it. Make room for those feelings, deal with them and make plans to move forward.
• As a way to help you deal with your feelings, sometimes talking with a professional is helpful. Working through your post-divorce emotions prevents them from polluting the next phase of your life.

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Divorce and Depression

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

When something you thought would last forever suddenly ends it is not uncommon to feel a sense of loss or even fall into depression. Divorce can be like that. Even if you saw knew a divorce was coming, when it is all over the experience can still exact an emotional toll.

The Stages of Loss

Not unlike the stages one might experience dealing with the death of a loved one, the stages an individual can go through following a divorce are no less real. You may not necessarily experience all five, but knowing what to expect can help you cope:

• Denial and isolation: in the face of overwhelming emotion, a newly-divorced person may seek isolation to deal with the situation.
• Anger: Misdirected anger can be harmful so finding a healthy outlet is important.
• Bargaining: You might start second-guessing the divorce or dwelling on things you might have done differently.

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Dating after Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

After going through the stress and expense of a divorce, the last thing on the mind of many adults is getting into a new relationship. However, for some divorced spouses, the desire to find a new partner is high on their list of things to do after getting out of a failed marriage. Just as no two divorces are alike, the reasons for getting into or avoiding a new relationship are just as varied.

Avoid Making the Same Mistakes

If you are intent on getting into a new relationship following your divorce, it may be important to take stock of the things that ended your marriage and strive to prevent those same issues from damaging future relationships. Other pitfalls to avoid include:

• Do not get in the habit of thinking all men (or women) are just like your ex-spouse. Sure, all men and all women share certain traits, but be honest with yourself and fair to potential suitors by giving others a chance to prove they can be a good partner.

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Dealing with Divorce at Work

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

When going through or dealing with the aftermath of a divorce those affected may attempt to keep the other segments of their life as normal as possible. In many cases, this means trying to prevent the emotion and anxiety of the divorce from seeping into and impacting one’s work. It is not always easy, but maintaining a steady and consistent work environment can help a person get through their divorce.

Getting Through the Work Day

The stress of your marriage breaking up can have a negative effect on your work performance. You can do everything in your power to keep things on an even keel, but here are a few ideas to help you maintain good productivity at work.

1. Let your boss know what is happening. It would be okay to have a private conversation with your supervisor to let him or her know that is going on with your marriage. Ask for some flexibility when it comes to meeting with your attorney.

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Bad Divorce Advice

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

When considering a divorce, or while you are going through this highly emotional and stressful experience, perhaps the last thing anyone wants to hear is a lot of advice about how to handle the whole process. A divorce is a very personal matter. It would be rare that any two divorces are exactly alike, so it is unlikely that advice from one will fit the needs of another.

Do What is Best for You

No one knows or understands your marriage experience better than you, so applying the advice of others to a very personal matter, such as a divorce, may prove to be quite counterproductive. Here is a sample of some advice that might be right for some, but could be considered quite bad depending on an individual’s circumstances. If you hear this advice from friends or family, proceed with caution.

• Separate as soon as possible and cut off all contact. Not only will this create an adversarial relationship with your spouse, but also could negatively impact your relationship with your children.

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Dividing Friends in Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

When married couples divorce it is not uncommon for possessions accumulated during the marriage to become subject to division. In addition to cars, homes, accumulated wealth and even time with children, it may happen that even the friends you had during your marriage may suddenly no longer answer your phone calls.

Time for New Social Circles

Even those people who you thought were your best friends may no longer have time for you, or perhaps even took the side of your ex-spouse following a divorce. While that can be unsettling, this time in your life can become an opportunity for finding and making new friends. This will not always be easy, especially if your former spouse was the one in the relationship who initiated the friendships you maintained as a couple. However, now you have the chance to surround yourself with the type of people with whom you truly enjoy spending time.

• Take time to determine what it is you want to get out of a new friendship. Since you no longer have a spouse to consider, there may be an opportunity to get to know people with whom your ex-spouse might not have otherwise associated.

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Life after Divorce: Dealing with Bad Memories during and after a Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

Married couples have a lifetime of happy memories from their time together. Divorced couples may have shared some good times together, but when a divorce appears on the horizon the good times often fade and one’s thoughts can be dominated by the memories that led up to or caused the divorce. Sometimes the weight of those bad memories can create problems that affect other areas of one’s life.

Coping Strategies

For people who feel overwhelmed by the bad memories of a failed marriage, simply telling oneself to stop dwelling on the past is not enough. Whether it is self-guilt over the divorce or the memories of words and actions by the ex-spouse, it can require more than willpower to stop reliving the past. Although not a complete list of strategies, the following are some tips that may help.

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Divorce and Depression

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

In addition to the financial repercussions of divorce, the emotional toll felt by both adults and children during and following the end of a marriage often has the power to develop into something quite harmful. In fact, many professionals urge greater awareness for and detection of the signs of clinical depression among those who go through a divorce.

Teens and Divorce

The impact of divorce on a teen can have a number of negative effects, ranging from feelings of abandonment to blaming themselves for the split of their parents. Some professionals make the analogy of a puzzle with missing parts, now the picture of the family the teen has known their whole life is suddenly incomplete. This can lead to confusion and sadness that, if left untreated, has the ability to develop into something quite harmful.

Although the numbers do not all reflect the impact of divorce, the incidents of teen depression have been on the rise since 2012. However, many believe increased cases of teen depression can often be traced back to some kind of major change in a teen’s life. The divorce of their parent certainly would qualify as a major life-changing event.

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Stages of Recovery after Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

Although most studies show that divorces occur most frequently during the first 10 years of a marriage, even couples who were married 25 years and longer may still find their relationship ending while seated across the table from one another in a lawyer’s office. Regardless of the circumstances, recovering from a divorce often requires time and understanding.

Recovering from a Divorce Is a Process

The emotional attachment to one’s spouse is a strong thing, and not easily dismissed. It is not surprising that those who go through a divorce may experience a period similar to that of grieving the loss of a loved one during the months after a divorce is final.

Denial

This typically occurs in the person who did not initiate the divorce. They do not want to believe that the person they love no longer wants to spend the rest of their life with them. A person in denial may harbor hopes for reconciliation, even when it is clear the marriage is over.

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Ways to Cope with Separation and Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Life After Divorce

For many people, divorce is one of the most emotionally demanding and stressful situations they will go through. Not only do you have to deal with the long and demanding legal divorce process, but you also have to figure out how to cope with the fact that you are ending a major relationship in your life, which can bring about a myriad of emotions. In order to come out of the divorce right side up, you have to figure out how to cope with these emotions and work your way through this emotional process.

Allow Yourself to Grieve the Loss of the Relationship

If you are going through a divorce, one feeling you will probably come across is grief. Grief is a natural response to the loss of something, in this situation, the loss of your relationship. It is important that you allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with grief, such as anger, sadness, fear, and confusion. The sooner you can emotionally accept that the relationship is over, the sooner you can begin your process of self-healing.

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