Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

When you were deciding whether or not to pursue a divorce, you probably thought about a number of things. Most likely, you considered who would get what property, how parenting arrangements would be handled, and the ways that you would make your life better after ending your marriage. You may not, however, have given much thought to the process of divorce, other than wondering how long it might take and how much it might cost. What about filing your petition for divorce? Did you know that you could have several options regarding where to do so?

County of Residence

According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, proceedings for a divorce “shall be had in the county where the plaintiff or defendant resides.” The law does not require you to file in the county where you last lived as a couple; rather, you can choose either the county where you currently live or that of your spouse if you do not reside in the same county. It is possible, albeit unlikely, that the court could direct your case to a different county on its own discretion.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

We all have second thoughts about tough decisions. In fact, that is exactly what makes them tough decisions. The decision to end your marriage is probably the most difficult one you have ever had to or will have to make. Despite advertisements and promises to make your divorce easy, the reality is that divorce is a major life change that alter a person and a family forever. If you are considering taking steps in that direction, it is absolutely crucial that you give yourself time and space to consider all of your available options before making any final decisions.

What the Law Says

It is often said that half of all American marriages today will end in divorce. While there are many reasons to believe that this number is exaggerated, there is little question that divorce is common. The law in Illinois, however, seems to take the process much more seriously than the general public. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act does not promise to dissolve a marriage just because one spouse requests it. Instead, a divorce can only be granted if a court finds that irreconcilable differences have caused the marriage to break down and that “efforts at reconciliation have failed or that future attempts at reconciliation would be impracticable and not in the best interests of the family. This means that you and your spouse are expected to do everything you can to save your marriage before you ask the court for a divorce.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

While divorce experts often claim that disagreements regarding money are the most common reasons for a married couple to seek a divorce, few things can degrade a relationship as quickly as infidelity. In many cases, of course, cheating is a symptom of much deeper issues in the relationship, but the irreversible act is often what causes the most heartbreak and feelings of betrayal. These emotions can quickly lead to a breakdown of the marital relationship, pushing a couple down the path toward an eventual divorce.

A cheating spouse will normally take steps to conceal their behavior, but there will often be warning signs. If you suspect that your spouse may be having an affair, you may want to look for:

• A renewed interest in his or her hygiene and personal appearance: Has your spouse suddenly started exercising again after years of relative inactivity? Maybe he has changed the way he wears his facial hair without asking for your opinion. Perhaps she has started wearing “going-out” makeup more often than usual. Unexplained focus on personal appearance could be sign that there is someone new he or she is looking to impress;

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

When you are preparing to begin the divorce process, you are likely to have many questions. You are probably wondering how much it is going to cost, how long it might take, and what type of expectations will be placed on you. There is also the ever-present question of hiring a divorce lawyer, as countless online resources offer advice on how to handle a divorce on your own. Going through a divorce without the assistance of a qualified lawyer is not advisable, especially if you and your spouse own significant assets or have children together. But do you each need to hire you own attorney or can one lawyer represent both you and your spouse?

Conflict of Interest

The answer to this question can be found in the Illinois Rules of Professional Conduct, the formal guidelines the govern the practice of law in the state. Rule 1.7 states that “a lawyer shall not represent a client if the representation involves a concurrent conflict of interest.” The rule goes on to say that such a conflict exists if “the representation of one client will be directly adverse to another client.” For a divorce situation, this means that a single attorney cannot represent both you and your spouse, as your interests are, by definition, in conflict with one another.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

No matter what the situation may be, some people are better at making tough decisions than others. Certain individuals are able to quickly choose a course of action and begin proactively pursuing their goals. Other people, however, require more time to consider the implications of their decision, weighing their options carefully before making a choice. Of course, there are extremes in both groups, with some making rash decisions regardless of the consequences and others who overthink the situation while paralyzed into inaction. When the issue is something insignificant, like where to have dinner tonight, the ability to make a decision is not all that important, though an inability to do so may still be annoying. But what about the decision to file for divorce? Does it matter who makes the decision to file the petition first?

A Level Playing Field

From strictly a legal standpoint, there is little to be gained from getting to the courthouse ahead of your spouse. If you file first, you will be known as the petitioner throughout the proceedings, and your spouse will be the respondent. With your petition, you will be able to make certain claims and requests of the court, so there may seem to be some advantage to being the petitioner. However, the respondent will have the same opportunities to make claims and file motions, both in response to yours and of his or her own accord. As the process moves forward, both parties will have the chance to present evidence and contribute to the judge’s final decision.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

Most of us think nothing of posting a funny story, sharing some family photos or liking someone’s status on social media. Nearly 60 percent of Americans are on Facebook, and staying connected to family and friends via the internet has become second nature.  However, what you post on social media sites like Facebook may affect your divorce case more than you would think.

Online Privacy

Although Facebook does have privacy features such as the ability to block someone from seeing your posts, a divorce is a tricky situation when it comes to social media. If a person is or used to be married, chances are that they and their spouse have many mutual friends on these websites. They might be a part of the same groups or organizations.  It is very easy for a party to use these privacy loopholes to spy on the other spouse’s behavior.

For example, if you are unable to pay child support or spousal support payments but post vacation pictures online, your spouse can use this information against you in court. You may also be tempted to vent or share your frustrations about a spouse on social media. These rants, taken out of context, may paint a picture of you or your character that is inaccurate.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

Along with lack of commitment and arguing, infidelity joins the ranks of the top three reasons a marriage results in divorce. In one survey, up to 55 percent of the those who were divorcing cited that infidelity was among the primary culprits. Marriage counsellors everywhere are always watching for signs of infidelity, stating that it nearly always starts as an emotional affair that results in a physical one. However things progressed to that point, the point is that the couple now intends to split. Can cheating have a large impact on divorce outcomes?

Effects on Divorce

Unlike some other states, Illinois is considered to be a “no fault” state when it comes to dissolution of marriage. The idea that you can divorce each other and you win everything because your spouse cheated does not ring true in most cases in the Land of Lincoln. Beginning in 2016, a divorce can only be granted in the state on the no-fault grounds of irreconcilable differences.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

While it can no longer be formally cited as grounds for divorce in Illinois, infidelity is still a major problem for many married couples. But, what causes cheating? How can so many people make such a choice when they know that their actions will hurt their partners? As you might expect, those who cheat tend to do so for a variety of reasons, and understanding what they are may help prevent unexpected surprises in your relationship.

Personal Reasons

For some people, the inclination to cheat may be almost hard-wired. Gender, personality, and individual values may make an individual more inclined to be unfaithful. Men are more likely to cheat than women, while those with strong conservative religious and political beliefs are often less likely to commit acts of infidelity.

Relationship Factors

Sociologists and marriage experts suggest that a person who is unhappy or unsatisfied in his or her marriage—consciously or not—may be more prone to cheating. A spouse who feels fulfilled, appreciated, and genuinely happy in the relationship is less likely to seek another source of such feelings. When cheating does occur due to relationship factors, the couple must consider carefully whether or not the marriage is worth saving, because doing so will take a great deal of work.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

When you are involved in a long-term committed relationship or a marriage—communication is one of the most important keys to happiness. Those who are able to communicate tend to enjoy higher levels of marital satisfaction and a better understanding of one another. Those who cannot or who only speak to one another superficially are likely to find their marriage spiraling quickly toward divorce.

The Concept of Stonewalling

Spouses can easily become frustrated with each other for any number of reasons. The stresses of day-to-day life can begin to drive a wedge between marital partners. Careless behavior, bad habits, and other minor annoyances start to become major issues if and when communication breaks down.

Marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., was the first relationship expert to use the term “stonewalling” to describe the behavior of a spouse who refuses to engage in conversation with his or her partner. Stonewalling, in effect, is one partner shutting down and preventing effective communication from taking place.

Continue Reading ››

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Divorce

October is Domestic Awareness Month, and it is important to note that domestic violence is not limited to physical actions like hitting and kicking. In many cases, emotional abuse or psychological abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse, and can certainly lead to the breakdown of a marriage. In fact, for many years, repeated mental or emotional cruelty was considered grounds for divorce in Illinois. While all divorces in the state must now be on the no-fault grounds of irreconcilable differences, it is still important to be able to recognize such victimization when it occurs. One type of this emotional abuse is referred to as “gaslighting.”

Does your partner often deny any knowledge of events or conversations that you know took place? On the opposite end, does he or she insist things happened which did not? Does he or she accuse you of misremembering past events? Does your partner ever insist that you said or did something of which you have no relocation? If so, you may be a victim of gaslighting.

Continue Reading ››