Holiday Child Visitation and Stress after a Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Every year the holidays arrive, bringing with them joy, togetherness, and stress. The stress of the holidays is felt more by some than others, but for divorced couples and their children, holiday stress may rise to new levels. The question of where the children will spend the holidays is often the source of much anxiety.

Holiday Scheduling Strategies

Sometimes during the course of divorce proceedings, parents may wish to include an annual holiday visitation schedule as part of a custody plan. However, sometimes scheduling visitation for the holidays is left to the parents. Here are few ideas that may help.

• Alternating years allows children to spend Thanksgiving, for example, with the father one year and with their mother the next.
• Alternating days, if travel time and distance permits, may allow for the children to spend Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas Day with the other.

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Divorce and Grandparents Visitation

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Throughout the divorce process, much of the stress and anxiety weighs on the adults, as well as their children. It is a very difficult time for everyone involved. However, when a divorce involves children, often times members of the extended family are affected. This is especially true for grandparents who have built a deep and loving relationship with their grandchildren.

Grandparents’ Rights in Illinois

As with many legal matters, laws pertaining to visitation vary from state to state, and the issue of Grandparents’ rights to spend time with their grandchildren is no different. Here is a summary of some key facts relative to visitation of grandchildren during divorce. A court may grant visitation if:

• The parents are not living together;
• One of the parents is absent;
• One parent is deceased; and

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Child Custody: Can a Child Choose Which Parent They Want to Live With?

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Divorce is difficult, and there is probably no single person who would deny that. When a divorce involves children,  that difficulty rises to a new level as the daily routine of very young people is turned upside down. A big part of the anxiety for children is the question of where they will live and with which parent when custody is determined. The question then becomes, can a child pick the parent with whom they want to live?

Can Children Have a Say?

Generally speaking, custody and residency are matters determined by parents. In the event the parents disagree, the courts will get involved. When a judge listens to a custody case or a request for a change in custody, they will consider the child’s opinion depending on a few factors:

• Age and maturity of the child; there is no specific age, but if the judge feels the child is old enough and mature enough to express their opinion then it shall be considered.

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Shared Parenting: Keeping Both Parents Involved with the Children After Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

A new law is regaining traction in Illinois that would provide greater custody rights for dads going through a divorce. Shared parenting bills are under consideration in a number of states, and a bill currently making the rounds in the Illinois legislature is gaining support from a number of father's rights advocacy groups.

What Is Being Proposed?

The main goal of any shared parenting law is to help the children of divorce build and maintain a relationship with both parents. When child support payments are late or not made, there are laws in place to punish delinquency. However, that is not currently the case when it comes to visitation agreements. In addition, there are groups who are of the opinion that when it comes to deciding custody in Illinois divorce cases that judges do not always consider both parents equally. New legislation under consideration may change that.

• The shared parenting bill requires courts to begin a custody process by presuming that child benefits most when able to spend equal time with both parents.

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Violating a Custody Agreement

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

The impact of a divorce on children can have strong and lasting effects, impacting the education, social life, and emotional well being. It is for these and other reasons great care is taken to create a custody agreement that is best for the children. However, violating a custody agreement, even in the slightest way, can alter the terms of that agreement and negatively affect your relationship with the children and your ex-spouse.

What Should You Do?

You agree to a custody arrangement and think everything is fine. Then, when it comes time to make a lawful visit, your ex-spouse throws up roadblocks or prevents the visit completely. The steps you should take next are not always clear.

• Some say you should call the police, but some officers will tell you to take up the matter with the court. Others may be more sympathetic and attempt to intervene and accompany you to your schedule visitation in order to ensure the other parent fully complies.

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Telling Children about Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Honest and open communication is an important tool in any relationship. When it comes to breaking the news about an impending divorce, good communication skills will come in handy. This is especially true when it comes time to telling your children that you and your spouse are divorcing, and the subject of child custody becomes a reality.

Breaking the News

Just as many adults are affected by the news of divorce, children frequently take the news quite hard. The range of emotions, from anger to guilt, can impact many other areas of their young lives. Here are a few thoughts on the subject that may just help you break the news while easing the pain your children feel, even if just a little bit:

• Keep your own emotions in check when telling your children about the divorce. This will put you in a good frame of mind when discussing the matter with the kids.

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Determining Paternity for Child Custody

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

When a child custody decision must be made by the court, one of the first jobs is to determine who is and is not a legal parent. A few years ago, the Illinois legislature completed a massive rewrite of the Illinois Parentage Act to better clarify who in a relationship has a parental claim to any children that are part of the union in question.

What the Courts Look At

While the courts and child advocate representatives are required to make decisions based on what is in the best interests of the children in question, other factors may impact who is awarded custody and who earns child visitation rights once a relationship has ended. This is where stipulations set forth in the Illinois Parentage Act spell out that which is to be considered. In the case of determining a relationship between a child and a woman claiming to be the mother, the following scenarios are considered:

• The woman gave birth to the child, EXCEPT in cases that involve a valid contract of surrogacy.

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Blending Families Post-Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Perhaps one of the most difficult and emotional parts of any divorce is when the the future and custody of children is involved. This can still weigh heavily even years after a divorce is final when parents enter into a new relationship and combine their children with those from another family whose parents are no longer married.

Unlike Television

When two adults decide to enter into a relationship, especially one that may result in marriage, their children usually have little influence. However, getting married and starting a family that involves the blending of two, previously existing families, definitely comes with some pitfalls to navigate on the path to establishing a happy and healthy household.

• Couples must work to ensure that any children who only live with them part-time feel like a full member of the family during the time they are with them.

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Understanding the Rules of Parent and Child Relocation

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Many things can trigger a move after a divorce - a new job, moving to be closer to family or even a new relationship. When a parent wants to relocate a child after a divorce, they must take certain steps to ensure that they are relocating the child legally and not in violation of any current parenting agreements.

What Is Considered Relocating?

According to Illinois law, you are considered to be relocating if you are moving more than 25 miles from the child’s original home if it is within Cook, DuPage, McHenry, Kane, Lake or Will counties or if the new home is out of state. The law also says that if the original home is not within the listed counties, a move is considered relocation if it is more than 50 miles from the child’s original home.

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Advantages of Nesting Parenting Arrangements After Divorce

 Posted on December 00, 0000 in Child Custody

Divorce is a giant change of pace in a family’s life. Parents know that divorce can be difficult for children to adapt to and can cause undue emotional distress. They work to minimize the effects of divorce on their children, which is how a fairly new parenting arrangement has come around. This arrangement is called “nesting,” which is a very child-centered approach to allocating parenting time. What Is Nesting? Nesting is a co-parenting arrangement where parents continue to share the family home and take turns living there to take care of the children. Rather than getting used to moving back and forth between two separate homes, the children reside full time in the family home that they are used to. The goal of nesting is to maintain a stable home for the children while the divorce is changing the aspects of the family’s life. Can Nesting Work for You? Because nesting involves high levels of cooperation and communication between the two parents, this type of arrangement usually only works with parents who are on good terms with each other. Minimal conflict is key for nesting to work--parents must be willing to put their children's’ well being ahead of their own. The family must also be able to provide some sort of other living arrangements for the parents when they are not at the family home--it can get expensive to sustain two living quarters, plus the family home. Advantages of Nesting

There are many advantages of this alternative type of child custody arrangement. Advantages of nesting include:

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