Posted on June 23, 2022 in Divorce

Divorce presents a complex set of challenges to couples, especially when they have been married for a long time. While spouses usually have their own friends, a couple’s social network is often made up of other couples, church communities, neighborhood friends, and parents of children who are friends with a couple’s children. Dividing these social groups in a divorce may feel inevitable and the loss of friendships can feel like a twisted knife in an already deep wound. If you are going through an Illinois divorce and are looking for strategies to help you maintain important shared friendships, here are three ideas that may help.

Remember That Your Divorce is Hard For Friends, Too

In addition to the inherent awkwardness of reconfiguring relationships without your spouse around, your divorce may cause your friends to feel grief and confusion as well. While that may seem unfair, social support groups are intimately connected and friends often rely on each other’s relationships to support their own. Be willing to hear your friends’ perspectives on your situation; it may give you a chance to step away from your own feelings, which can be a relief.

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 Posted on June 22, 2022 in Gray Divorce

While couples who get divorced later in life may avoid many of the challenges related to children and divorce, they still face a challenging set of issues that must be resolved before the divorce can be finalized. The question foremost on the minds of many "gray" adults is whether dividing several decades’ of finances will leave both spouses able to live on their own for the rest of their lives. If you are considering divorce and are nearing or past retirement age, here are three financial considerations to keep in mind as you plan your divorce.

Retirement Accounts Must Be Divided

Any value in a retirement account that was accumulated during a marriage will need to be divided in a divorce. Some spouses do divide their retirement accounts using a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, but other spouses avoid literally dividing the account by negotiating the value of other assets. For example, one spouse may wish to keep the entire value of a marital home and live on their Social Security payments while the other spouse wishes to keep the entire value of a substantial retirement fund. As long as both spouses agree to the terms and the division is fair, an Illinois judge will approve the terms of a couple’s asset division agreement.

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 Posted on June 15, 2022 in Divorce

Thousands of people get divorced in Illinois every year and the vast majority of these divorces are resolved without pursuing traditional courtroom litigation. Because litigation is increasingly seen as unnecessarily combative, expensive, and time-consuming (to say nothing of its harmful effects on any minor children involved), judges order most divorcing couples to seek mediation to resolve their differences outside of court.

However, mediation, collaborative divorce, and other cooperative divorce efforts are not always safe or possible. For some couples, a judge’s supervision and expertise are necessary to ensure that spouses who are victims of domestic violence or financial abuse are treated safely and fairly throughout the divorce process. In situations like these, litigation can become very hostile and contested. When spouses disagree about issues of fact, expert witnesses may be necessary to argue the case of one or both spouses.

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 Posted on June 10, 2022 in Domestic Violence

Many people in Illinois remain trapped in unhappy or abusive marriages because they are afraid to leave. Unfortunately, the research on domestic violence suggests that people who remain in relationships out of fear of abuse may be onto something - the rate of serious physical abuse often becomes far worse when a victim tries to leave his or her abuser.

However, victims of domestic violence are not condemned to stay in unhealthy marriages forever. Orders of protection are powerful legal instruments designed to act as a safety measure for people who are afraid that they or their children may be at risk, and an Illinois family law attorney can help you get one as part of your divorce strategy.

How Does an Order of Protection Help?

While an order of protection cannot take your abuser off the streets and put him or her in jail, it can create a strong incentive for your abuser to stay away from you. This is because orders of protection are ordered by the court and enforceable by law - meaning, if your abuser violates the order of protection, you can call the police and they can be subject to arrest, fines, jail time, and other penalties.

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 Posted on June 06, 2022 in Divorce

Addictive and compulsive behaviors are frequent causes of divorce in Illinois. Substance abuse issues make it very difficult to sustain a safe, stable family life while shopping and gambling addictions can make it impossible to live within a family’s means. Unfortunately, these behaviors can also complicate the divorce process, potentially making it very stressful. If you are pursuing an Illinois divorce from a spouse with addictive behaviors, here are four tips that may be helpful.

Put Your Children’s Needs First

You do not need to be married to a spouse with addiction issues for long to understand how emotionally draining trying to help them can be. Trying to make ends meet, ensuring everybody is safe, and managing your day-to-day activities can be nearly impossible when you are essentially single-parenting and dealing with your spouse as well. But now that you have decided to get divorced, shift your focus to yourself and your children. Make sure they have what they need and try to minimize the difficulties they experience as you separate from your spouse. If necessary, pursue sole parental rights so you can keep them safe. And while you are at it, remember to take care of yourself, too.

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 Posted on May 27, 2022 in Property Division

At least one in ten American adults currently owns cryptocurrency and that number is only expected to rise. Making payments using cryptocurrency is easy, inexpensive, and difficult to track - making cryptocurrency an ideal payment method for a variety of reasons.

Because cryptocurrency ownership is on the rise and divorce rates are still hovering around 50 percent, an increasing number of Illinois divorces will handle cryptocurrency as part of the marital asset division process. Like any other marital property, cryptocurrency must be divided fairly; however, the volatility of the cryptocurrency market and the ease with which cryptocurrency can be hidden can introduce significant challenges to the division process.

How Do I Know My Spouse is Telling the Truth About Our Cryptocurrency’s Value?

Spouses commonly divide household chores and when one spouse handles all or most of a family’s financial affairs, the other spouse may not be aware of the full value of their marital property. Although each spouse must create a financial affidavit under oath that discloses their full financial picture, people are not always completely honest.

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 Posted on May 25, 2022 in Spousal Support

Most spouses pursuing a divorce in Illinois have questions about spousal maintenance (also known as alimony or spousal support). Will you pay it? Will you receive it? Who decides? Traditionally, men were the ones asking these questions - but as women increasingly outperform men in college and many income brackets, women are frequently wondering whether they may be paying alimony as well. Illinois law does not distinguish between men and women when it comes to determining alimony payments, but it does provide very specific ground rules to take the guesswork out of determining the duration and amount of the payments.

What is Alimony?

Divorce is expensive - that is no secret. When one spouse is the primary breadwinner for a family, divorce can have an outsized impact on the spouse who earns less, especially if that spouse gave up educational or career ambitions to stay home and raise children. Spousal maintenance is intended to recognize the non-financial contributions a spouse can make to a marriage and prevent that spouse from becoming impoverished immediately after divorce.

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 Posted on May 19, 2022 in Divorce

Hundreds of men and women all over Illinois get married every year and make lasting commitments to honor and help each other in all things until death - or at least, so they think at the time they get married. But as everyone knows, a lifetime of marriage is no guarantee when almost 50 percent of relationships end in divorce.

While most divorcing couples agree that separating is the right choice for their future, what about those couples in which one spouse wants a divorce and the other spouse does not? If your spouse has asked you for a divorce in Illinois and you are hoping to stay married, read this blog post and then contact an experienced Illinois divorce attorney for advice.

Can I Insist We Get Therapy Before Divorce?

Illinois wants to support and encourage healthy marriages and the law generally prefers married couples to stay that way. Although you cannot force an unwilling spouse to attend therapy, once divorce proceedings begin, you can request the judge to order a conciliation conference. If he or she believes there is still hope to save the marriage, the judge may also order a conciliation conference even if neither spouse requests it.

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 Posted on May 18, 2022 in Divorce

Mental illness and outlier psychological conditions have become better understood and less stigmatized in recent years, making it easier to get treatment and therapy. However, even under the best circumstances, certain psychological conditions can place an enormous amount of strain on a relationship. One of the most difficult conditions to manage is narcissism.

Narcissism is often easily disguised early in a relationship as the narcissist attempts to "love bomb" their partner - acting incredibly sweet, caring, and giving as the relationship begins to progress. However, once a narcissist feels comfortable or is triggered by a certain behavior or incident, their negative personality traits can manifest. Unfortunately, just as it is difficult to be in a productive relationship with a narcissist, it is also particularly difficult to divorce a narcissist.

How Do I Know Whether My Spouse is a Narcissist?

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 Posted on May 11, 2022 in Divorce

When you are at your wit’s end in your relationship, the temptation to leave can be overwhelming. Getting divorced might seem like a panacea that will solve all your problems - you no longer would have to live with the sloppy, selfish jerk who does not mind asking you to make dinner but otherwise scarcely notices you. But the negative consequences of an Illinois divorce can be real and lasting, and surprisingly, many couples who are unhappy at significant points in their marriage often end up being quite happy many years later. However, others remain stubbornly miserable. Therefore, deciding whether or not to get divorced is a major crossroads with the potential to significantly affect the outcome of your future. Knowing what research on the topic says may help you reach a decision.

Will I Be Happier if I Get Divorced?

It is easy to fantasize about how the future will be different when you feel like you cannot stand one more night listening to your partner’s snoring. However, nearly 70 percent of couples who were very unhappy when they had their first child reported being happy ten years later. Other studies suggest similar results; that about two-thirds of adults in unhappy marriages were happy five years later if they stayed together. Studies also suggest that, on average, people who get divorced are not happier than those who stay married.

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